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"Transformation occurs only when we remember, breath by breath, year after year, to move toward our emotional distress without condemning or justifying our experience."
Seeking therapy is not about being broken or needing to be fixed. It is a legitimate and self loving way of caring for yourself and recognizing that you may need support in your process of self understanding and healing. Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul-A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life, wrote about Caring vs. Curing and this has guided me in my work as a mental health therapist:
“Our work in psychology would change remarkably if we thought about it as ongoing care rather than as the quest for a cure. We might take the time to watch and listen as gradually it reveals the deeper mysteries lying within daily turmoil. Problems and obstacles offer a chance for reflection that otherwise would be precluded by the swift routine of life. As we stop to consider what is happening to us and what we’re made of, the soul ferments, to use an alchemical word. Change takes place, but not according to plan or as a result of intentional intervention. If you attend the soul closely enough with steadfast imagination, changes take place without your being aware of them until they are all over and well in place. Care of the soul observes the paradox whereby a muscled strong-willed pursuit of change can actually stand in the way of substantive transformation.”
While there are still actually cures for our issues such as medicines, quitting a substance, changing a diet or ending an unhealthy relationship for example, healing does not end with these choices. Healing is how we integrate our cures, make sense of our identities, choices and paths and begin, as well as end, cycles of growth.
When we truly know and honor ourselves -- creating a life of “soulfulness” -- we can align ourselves with what supports our wholeness. Healing becomes more about caring for the conditions of self vs. fixing, and seeing ourselves through a lens of “not right and/or needing to be something/someone else.”
This place of self understanding, acceptance and compassion becomes the foundation for enacting any positive change and for creating a life that is healthy and sustainable. When we begin here, we can make choices and experience change that is both obtainable and long lasting and truly suited for who we each are uniquely and individually.